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NOTE: These stories are
intended for a mature audience.

Sins of the Brother
A "Kendrick" Story
By
Jennifer Brozek
Start at the beginning of the Kendrick series

Brother Simon, as he was known only within the hidden confines of the monastery, felt the peace of monastic life return to him as he stripped himself of his 'normal' clothing and slid into the simple robe of the Brotherhood. He left his other clothes neatly folded in the coat room. Giving the pile of outer world clothing and effects a troubled glance, he realized his problem was not the fact that he was a man with two lives. It was the fact that he was no longer certain he could tell which one was real and which one was the sham.

He walked through the quiet halls that had once been a train station located on the western edge of Kendrick. On the outside, it was perpetually under renovation.  On the inside, the renovations had been completed for years.  Austere but sound, the former train station had transformed easily into a serviceable monastery. There were few amenities but that was exactly what was wanted and needed in this place.

Life had seemed so simple when he first arrived here so many years ago. The Brotherhood was all to him and it was all in the service of God. He came here recovering from the death of his family who were murdered by zealots in the name of the demonic Other. Back then, he had not understood why. To this day, he still wondered if they had targeted the right family. The Brotherhood assured him that they had and he had been the intended target. God had seen to it that he was spared to do His work.

Climbing the stairs of what once had been the old bell tower but now led to the office of the Abbot and the Chief Guardian of the Spirit. Simon wondered what would happen to him if he confessed his doubts about his current mission. Not the actual mission, but the manner he was forced to go about it. Why not just tell Karen what the Order of the Sacred Eye seemed to be doing? Why not confess his own part in this war and confess that she was not just a mission to him - that his feelings for her were genuine?

Brother Simon paused outside the office door and gathered his composure. Thinking of Karen and how he felt the Brotherhood was wronging her always made him lose his inner balance.

"Come in, Brother Simon." Brother Peter called from behind the closed door.

That made him smile. His mentor was so attuned to the monastery and those within it, he could always tell where everyone was and who needed his attention. Simon opened the door to the small, dark wood office. "Good morning, Brother Peter."  He sat when his superior gestured for him to do so.

Once again, he was struck with the conflicting desires he felt when he sat in this office. It was no accident that the Brotherhood had named him Simon. In the bible, the Disciple Peter was Simon before he became Peter. He was destined for the same path.  Eventually, he was to take his mentor's place as the head of this monastery and become the Chief Guardian of the Spirit here. Part of him wanted that and the serenity of this isolated bubble-world of silence, dark wood, incense and prayer. Part of him dreaded it. It was too passive for him. Spiritual warriors needed to exercise the body and mind as well as the soul.

"I see you have much on your mind." Brother Peter was an old man but all his senses were still sharp.

"Yes."

"Do you wish to speak of it first or to give me your report first?"

"The report. That will lead into the rest."

The old man nodded. "It usually does." He opened up a lined notebook, dated the page and prepared to take notes. "I'm ready."

"It's as you have said all along. Karen Wilson is the catalyst that will bring the Change. After the death of Sparks-of-the-Moon and the theft of Changer's Claw, she has been a woman possessed with righteous fury. She is aware that the Order of the Sacred Eye is planning something big. She does not know what. She has no idea that she is in a greater danger that she realizes. I still think we need to warn her..."

"We've been over this before. We will not. If she knows, she may change the way she is doing things and we need her to continue. Go on with your report."

Simon swallowed his anger with an effort. He could not understand Peter's calm acceptance that, if they were not quick, Karen would die. "She has been forcing the various factions to look at what they do not wish to see and to make them aware that they must choose sides. That those who remain on the fence will, most likely, be the first to drop in this war."

"Do you know who is on what side?" He continued to write in the Brotherhood's shorthand but watched Simon out of the corner of his eye.

"Some.  John Corso, Bacchanalia, the Special Force branch of the police, Susan Moore and the gargoyles are all siding with Karen.  Luke Coleman and the Children of Anu are siding with the Order. I am not certain about the Makah or Lady Grey and her faction."

"Give me a guess."

"You know I don't like to..."

"I know. But you have to trust your instincts more. Guess." Brother Peter interrupted, pressing his protégé to use the instincts he often ignored.

"The Makah will side with Karen at the last minute. Mostly because two of the three Elders are hesitant and feeling their age. The third, the youngest of the three, is with her already and does not fear for his life." Simon nodded more to himself than to Peter. "They will come at the last minute. I just hope it won't be too late."

"Lady Grey?"

"She met with Karen recently."

"Yes?" This interested Peter. He still had not grasped what Lady Greg actually was and that bothered him.

"I saw Karen enter a hedge and I wasn't the only one who saw. The other one... the other man she's dating... was following her, too." With an effort to push his jealousy aside, he continued. "I know she didn't see either of us. She was seeing something I could not see on the ground."

"Simon, jealousy does not become you."

That caused him to start in surprise and look Peter in the eye for a long, uncomfortable moment. The fact that Brother Peter could read his emotions so clearly embarrassed him and he dropped his eyes down to the polished wood of the table. "I know. I'm sorry. I.. I can't. I am having a hard time with this mission."

"I know. We'll speak of that in a moment.  Lady Grey?"  Brother Peter continued to write in his looping shorthand.

Suddenly, Simon wondered if the Abbot's report to his superiors would include his adolescent longings for a woman he could not have. Not in the way he really wanted. "I saw her go into the hedge. I didn't try to follow her. It means that Lady Grey invited her in. I don't know when she left but she seemed fine when I saw her next."

"Did 'the other' see you?"

He shook his head, flushing as his mentor threw his own jealous words back at him. This conversation was going to haunt him for a long time to come.

"Good. What about the Steward family? They have been curiously silent on these occult manners."

"Yes. I have the feeling that they are shoring up the mundane forces:  police, emergency services, firehouses and such, in preparation. I honestly believe that they intend to be referees in this war. I think, mostly to contain the damage and to protect those who cannot see the real world. Their focus is the city of Kendrick itself. It always has been. Not the various factions within."  He paused. "What about us, Brother Peter? What are we going to do in this war?"

"What we have always done - fight our battle on the spiritual battlefield."

Although he knew Peter meant that literally and not figuratively since both of them had been in several such battles before, he still did not believe it was enough. It was one thing to fight demons. It was another to help the people in the physical world. Not that being hurt by a demon on the spiritual battlefield hurt any less when one's soul returned to the body. "We're not going to share our knowledge with anyone? We're not going to help either side?"

"Of course we will be helping Karen's side and the side of Light. That's what we're meant to do." The tilt of the Abbot's head, suggested that Simon's question was unworthy for one of the Brotherhood.

"But we could be doing so much more!" Simon got up and paced back and forth in front of the desk. It was too small a space for such movement to be satisfying, but he could not sit still any longer. "We should tell her that the Order will be coming after her specifically and not because of revenge. She should know this!"

"Simon, I know that these infiltration missions are difficult. It's one of the reasons the Brotherhood remains isolated from the rest of the world. These outside influences confuse and distract from the real reason you're out there."

"Why am I out there in Kendrick? Why did I join the group I did? Why did you tell me to get close to her?"

Peter sat back with a sigh. He had seen this sort of reaction before and it did not bode well. "Kendrick is special in many ways that the rest of the world is not. It is a nexus of ley lines and destinies. We are here to guard the portals between the spiritual realm and the physical realm. You were asked to become part of Kendrick's occult society so we could keep abreast of the movement of factions within this arena. To keep them from accidentally or purposefully releasing monsters into this world. You know all of this." He paused, "You were asked to get close to Karen Wilson because Divine prophecy told us that she would be the catalyst for great change and she is. We needed to know what she was doing. Is still doing. You were not to fall in love with her, Simon. You have another path. Do not forget the vows you've taken."

The younger man dropped back into the chair in front of the desk with an abrupt thump. "I haven't forgotten my vows. But, I am in love with her. I can't help that. And I'm not the only one."

"Does she know?"

"I think so. But, she runs from us both. She runs from love. I don't understand why." He knew he sounded like a love struck teen but he could not stop. He did not want to stop. Speaking his heart would make the words real. "She doesn't know all that I've done for her. How I've protected her. Watched her. Prayed for her. How I would kill for her." He bowed his head and stared at his tightly clasped hands. "Will kill for her if necessary."

Peter was shocked. It was worse than he realized. For a moment, his confidence in himself and his protégé wavered. Then, he steeled himself. He had to for the sake of the Brotherhood, Kendrick and Brother Simon. "You may have to."

Simon's head shot up. That was not what he was expecting to hear from his superior. In fact, he was expecting an admonishment. "What?"

"You may have to kill for Karen. Are you truly willing to do so?"

He paused, thinking it through more carefully. He put the face of Luke Coleman before him in his mind's eye and thought, 'Could I kill you if I had to?' The answer was yes but unfair. Luke Coleman was demonic in nature.  He pulled up the face of his romantic rival then tossed it away without consideration. It would not be fair to use that visage as a litmus test. He pulled up the face of one of the Children of Anu; one of the normal human members and thought, 'Could I kill you if I had to?'  The answer was yes. Weaker but still definite. He could. He would. It would be in the name of God and for the love of Karen.  Simon nodded. "Yes."

"Good. Then, you will lead the Guardians in prayer and battle when the Order performs its rite on the next full moon.  The creatures they will most likely pull through on the spiritual field must be exterminated."

"What? The next full moon? So soon? That's less than three weeks from now!"

"I know. You'll need to spend more time here at the monastery in preparation for that battle but you will also still need to stay in contact with Karen to find out her plans."

"You're just going to let the Order perform their rite? You're not... We're not going to try to stop it before it starts?"  Simon was livid with his unspoken question, 'You're just going to let them take and possibly kill Karen?'

"We need to see all of the pieces on the board. In less than three weeks, we'll have a clearly divided line of who is on the side of the Divine and who is not. We must let the rite begin and we must be prepared for the spiritual battle that we will fight here. We must know who stands with whom."

"But..."

Peter overrode Simon's protest with a held up hand. "Normally, I would remove you from this mission altogether. You've been too influenced by your time in the outside world. Too affected by your time with Karen. You've forgotten your vows and your mission.  Normally, you would be assigned to prayer and preparation for the next three weeks.  However, this is a delicate time in this war and the Brotherhood needs all the information it can get. You are the only one close enough to the situation. I need to know right now, Brother Simon, are you still true to us?"

It was like being stabbed in the heart - twice.  First was the threat of not seeing Karen again. Second was the questioning of his faith. He really was a man divided and he felt like he was in danger of losing everything that mattered in his life. All of the anger drained out of him. "Peter..."

"Are you still true to the Brotherhood and your vows?" The Abbot pressed.

"Yes. Yes, I am. The mission is all. In God's name, yes."

"Am I still your superior and mentor in the Brotherhood?"

"Yes, Brother Peter. You are."

"Do you trust me?"

Simon nodded his head after the briefest of hesitations. "Yes, of course."

Simon's hesitation was not lost on Peter and it hurt him deeper than expected. "Then trust this: The Brotherhood will not allow Karen Wilson to come to any real harm. I promise you that."

"How..?"

"Trust me, Simon. I've been doing this for longer than you have been alive."

'How many sacrificial lambs have you lost in those years, Peter? How many have died?' He was instantly ashamed of the uncharitable thought. He knew Peter took his vocation very seriously. "Yes, Brother Peter."

"Do you understand what you are to do for the next three weeks?"

"Yes. Stay in contact with Karen and discover her plans. Keep in touch with the other factions where I have influence and see which side of the line they are stepping to.  Other than that, remain here and prepare for battle."

"Good. I suggest you spend the rest of the day in the chapel in prayer and meditation. I sense you need to regain your equilibrium."

He heard the dismissal in the suggestion and stood. "Yes, Brother Peter."

"God bless and keep you, Simon."

"You as well, Brother."  Simon opened the door to the office and made his way down the stairs and through the monastery. He pulled his hood up and kept his eyes on the ground as he walked. He did not acknowledge any of the other brothers as they passed each other. Sensing he was troubled, his brothers left him alone.

He entered the chapel and was relieved to find it empty of people but not of the Spirit. Thankful for the fact that this place had not lost its sense of the Holy to him, Simon knelt and gave himself over to God and prayer, asking for guidance. He was a man divided who desperately wanted to find balance. He wanted to be both true and right.

Elsewhere...

Karen looked down from her book at the small gargoyle curled up on her tummy. She could feel a contented purring sensation in the back of her mind and gave him a gentle scritch behind the ears. The purring sensation grew. She noted how much Sebastian's skin felt like warm suede when he was not in 'rock mode.' 

"You know, you're sort of like a pet... but not."

'Not a pet. Guardian. You're my human.'

"Is that like a pet?"

'No. Ward. Human. My human. Special.' He lifted his head and blinked gem-like light blue eyes at her.

"Whoa. Blue eyes. I thought they were black."

'They were. I like blue.'

"They're pretty. Sebastian, there's so little I know about you and who you are. I don't know how you were born. Or what you eat..."

'Snickers!'

"... besides Snickers bars or even if you know, go to the bathroom."

'No.'

"No? What do you do with the waste?"

'Get bigger.'

"Oh."  She paused, considering this and did note that he was bigger. "Are all gargoyles in the city alive like you?"

'No. Some are just dumb rock. Some are alive but sleeping. They don't want to wake because their human is gone. But, someday, they will wake again. They will find another human to care for.'

"How do you know when you've found that human?"

'You just know.'

"I love you, little guy. You know that don't you?"

'I know. I know love, too. I love you.'

"I'm worried for you. This war. This thing I'm starting, have started and can't stop even if I wanted to. I don't want you hurt."

'You won't be hurt. I won't let it happen.'

Suddenly, Karen had a really bad feeling; like she was going to lose Sebastian and he seemed to be the only one she could really count on beyond Susan. Even Reginald seemed distance and cautious with her these days. "Promise me you won't do anything rash."

'I will do what I need to do.' He blinked those glittering blue eyes at her and she could feel the weight of stubbornness behind that statement.

She hugged him to her. "You just be careful. OK?"

'I'm always careful.'  Sebastian endured this and when she was done, lowered his head and curled up again. In his mind, the conversation was done.

For Karen, it left her that much more concerned for the wellbeing of her small guardian. There was too much going on. All she could do was continue to gather allies and hope they were true to their word.

Story by Jennifer Brozek, Copyright 2006
Photo by Rory Clark, Stopped Motion Photography, Copyright 2006